Captain's Log - 1530

       We docked in our backyard. This trip is complete.
       Our boat, latest picture above, took on a little damage during the trip. If we can get it rebuilt: next year we explore the Ten Thousand Islands on the west side of the everglades, otherwise it is a motorcycle trip.

Of Stowaways and Skunk Apes

       For those of you who have been following this blog you may not be aware of the problems we have encountered with uninvited guests. Soon after we left the dock we discovered a stowaway lurking on our upper deck. Our concern about this intruder diminished once we found out he was unarmed. The poor man was literally unarmed as he had no arms and was missing various other vital body parts kind of like a giant Ken Doll. Our concern turned to sympathy for this unfortunate handicapped man.

      We could not return to port, so we decided to make "Bob" part of the crew. We assigned him various tasks without success. He lacked basic communication skills and seemed to have a real attitude problem. No matter what we told him to do he just stood there with the same hostile scowl on his face.
       We kind of gave up on him and left him on his own. He would sit motionless for hour after hour staring out to sea, completely withdrawn into his own world. Other Boaters would pass by and wave but Bob never waved back. He did not seem to care about or even notice other people. Some of these Boaters would become angry with Bob's apparent rudeness and flip him off. Now you can't blame an armless man for not waving, but Bob went out of his way to avoid making any acknowledgement whatsoever. Bob was becoming a real problem.
       The only thing that Bob was able to do as part of the crew was security watch. Whenever we left the houseboat unattended Bob remained aboard and I am sure that his muscular presence and angry scowl intimidated any would-be river pirates.

       Bob stayed with us until we once again reached the lower Suwannee on our river descent. That is when we found a new crewmember. The lower Suwannee is completely isolated. The swampy lowlands are covered by a thick forest which blots out all sunlight. This remote damp dark region is one of the last strongholds of the Florida Skunk Ape. For those of you who are not up-to-date on your cryptozoology: the Florida Skunk Ape is a close relative of their Bigfoot cousins who live in the Pacific Northwest. Skunk Apes run a bit smaller, at 6 or 7 feet tall on average, than their larger relatives out west. Sightings of Skunk Apes are usually accompanied by a very foul odor – hence their name.

        We met a medium sized Skunk Ape wandering the dark forest alone. He wanted to come on board. I had to feel for the guy living in that damp rotting "green hell" by himself. A clean comfortable dry houseboat must have looked like heaven to him. So we relented and allowed him to come on board.
       For those of you who dabble in Cryptozoology, or at least are addicted to Monsterquest on TV, we have found out why Skunk Apes smell the way they do. They have a digestive gas issue from all the rotting vegetation they ingest in their native habitat. Once "Skunky" ate a bottle of GasX and settled in on a diet of junk food and beer things settled down considerably.

       Skunky has proven to be a much better crewmate than Bob ever was. He enjoys waving at passing boats. In fact he spends the whole day guzzling beer from his drinking hat and waving. A true Party Animal.
       Our Skunk Ape friend has really settled in and enjoys the civilized life. We are trying to support him in his ambition to become a member of the rock band "ZZ Top".

Our first sighting of Skunky in his native habitat. Notice how hard he is to spot. This ability to hide within the dark relm of their habitat was developed from millions of years of evolution. It helps to explain the rarity of Skunk Ape sightings.

Skunky quickly settled into his favorite place on the houseboat.

Captain's Log - 1012

Nursing a massive hangover from last night and with the weather turning rough tomorrow we decided to head home. Sailing out the Bayport channel into a smooth Gulf of Mexico. Should be home in four hours.